What Did I Ever Do Wrong (Part 2)

 

- From a church girl, born and raised in church.

When life hit me hard in May 2024 just before my birthday, I wondered what I ever did wrong, I was raised right and righteous, Most sins I have never committed but there I was battling with life in the most vulnerable state, I didn’t even know what was going on around me, I felt everyone left me unknown to me my mind was playing tricks on me, no one left, nothing happened, just voices messing my mind up, telling me things that don’t exist in the real world, stressing me up and making me suffer.

These voices said a lot to me, they called me a lot of names, they pestered me, these voices came back on a second mission which was to make jest of me.

The doctors gave it a name and a label but I called them voices of death, I felt like I had died and woken up back to life so everything was a bit strange.

God used the doctors to sort it out, when you don’t know there is a problem you will suffer from it but thank God I didn’t suffer for long.

When I recovered I had questions, a lot of questions for God and top on the list was “What did I ever do wrong to be sentenced to hearing voices and getting stressed out”. At least I needed my sound mind to serve God so why did that even happen. Maybe God does not see me, maybe he doesn’t even exist and I have been living on luck, when I mean I had questions, I really had a lot of them.

I felt like God left me alone even when I didn’t leave him, I may not be perfect but I have held on to him.

But once again I remembered Jesus on the cross when he cried “My God, My God why have you forsaken me” but God did really look away because Jesus was carrying our sins and that was part of his purpose.

The son of God loosing the attention of God for a time just to complete the process of fulfilling his purpose. 

 So I thought maybe God did let it happen to me so I can complete a process in the course of fulfilling my purpose.

Looking back God did not give me more than I could bare, in his mathematics that needed to be solved not kept aside.

So I am currently walking in perfect health and gracefully enjoying God’s plenty because he has done me well.

Things happen we ask questions but God answers them.